Ellie Afshar 2/14/21 Ellie Afshar 2/14/21

Doshas & Love

Since it is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be fun to share how your particular combination of doshas relate to the way you give and receive love.

Let us recap about the definition of a dosha in Ayurveda. Ayurveda is based on the idea that the world is made up of five elements - air, space, earth, water, and fire. A dosha is defined as a combination of these elements which make up three main energies that are responsible for a person’s psychological, mental, and emotional health. An individual typically has one predominant dosha and a secondary dosha. I will discuss each of these three doshas: vata, pitta, and kapha’s love personalities and ways to show them love.

Vata Dosha Love Personality:

Vata’s are comprised of air and space. They love to travel from one place to another and flutter from one thing to the next. Vata’s tend to fall in love quickly, and fall out of love just as quick. They are filled with ideas and find interest in creative minds who like to try new things.

Ways to show Vata’s love:

Plan surprises!! Vata’s love adventure and to experience new destinations. Put on some music and dance the night away together. Help them get grounded by treating them to a warm, delicious meal and gift them with oils that they can warm up and indulge in!

Pitta Dosha Love Personality:

Pitta’s are comprised of fire and water. They are filled with passion and their love burns strong. They run hot and are fiery when they believe they have found their match. They can be competitive with their loved one and tend to want to rule the show.

Ways to show Pitta’s love:

Pitta’s believe in quality over quantity. If you gift them something, make sure it is of utmost quality. They use their sense of smell a lot, so burn some candles with rose, sandalwood, or jasmine scents. Engage in a healthy debate or play a fun game with them. Have some cooling beverages nearby like cucumber water or mint water to cool down the heat.

Kapha Dosha Love Personality:

Kapha’s are comprised of earth and water. In balance, they are grounded and love to cuddle and hold onto their loved one for as long as possible. They are creatures of habit and love to keep a routine and are content with being with their one true love for their whole life.

Ways to show Kapha’s love:

Kapha’s are filled with intense sentiment, so write them a poem or a thoughtful card once in a while. They love sweets, so bake them something to satisfy their sweet tooth. To help balance their desire to stay in, plan a nice walk outdoors at the beach or the park. Pack a picnic afterwards with lots of blankets to stay warm.

I hope you found these tips beneficial. Remember, even though your loved one has a dominant dosha, we are all made up of a combination of all three doshas. Mix and match depending on the environment, mood, or situation. Have fun!

Ellie Afshar 1/24/21 Ellie Afshar 1/24/21

Can Empathy Be Taught & Measured?

A big part of my purpose in life is my work with neurodiverse learners. The subject of empathy sparks curiosity in me. Particularly, what does empathy mean? Is empathy innate? Can it be taught in a way that becomes a natural response? How is empathy measured? I am going to dive into these questions.

What does empathy mean?

When I think of empathy, the first thing that comes to mind is the phrase, “put yourself in someone else’s shoes.” When I hear this phrase I interpret it to mean understanding how someone else feels, thinks, learns, and their experiences, life circumstances, privilege, economic status, health, and support network. Emotion researchers define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. Greater Good. 2021. Empathy Definition. You can imagine for some learners, “sensing” other people’s emotions and imagining how someone else might be thinking could be too abstract. On the contrary, some learners are highly capable of sensing their environment and nuances that occur in the energy of people around them. A follow-up thought is if learners can feel empathy, is it possible we may not always know because of an inability to effectively communicate empathy? In my opinion, it is presumptuous to say, many neurodiverse learners cannot feel empathy. A more accurate interpretation would be that some learners have a difficult time knowing what to do with the empathy they feel. This in turn can manifest into challenging behaviors like tantrums, aggression, or the lack of motivation to verbally communicate.

Is empathy innate? Can it be taught in a way that becomes a natural response?

In the past it was believed that empathy was innate. The consensus today is that there is an inherit capacity at birth for empathy, and it is a learned behavior. Early emotion scientists gravitated towards a theory of universality: emotions are innate, biologically driven reactions to certain challenges and opportunities, sculpted by evolution to help humans survive. When culture or habitat was controlled for, people who faced fear had similar reactions and parents who looked at their offspring reported feelings of love. This was similar in non-human primates. Greater Good. 2021. Are Emotions Born Or Made? If empathy is a combination of nature and nurture, then can it be taught? Can it be taught in a way that becomes a natural response? I can teach a learner that when you see a peer, be sure to greet them because this shows that you are interested in connecting with them. The learner can greet each time, but is this truly a natural response? When the learner sees a peer and greets them, is it something done because it was learned that it helps make friends? If greetings are not an inherit response, and it is assumed that the peer reciprocated, and it was positively reinforced, does it make it more likely for the response to turn into a natural behavior? Could be. Whether secondary reinforcement is natural or not, it can create a visceral experience, which feels good. Something either feels good or does not feel good. While feelings are not easily measured, they can be observed. How? Does the response elicit a smile the first time it occurred? Do you observe an increase in motivation? Is there an increase in prosocial behaviors such as joining peers, sitting next to a peer, or attempts at conversation? This can indicate that a concept that was not easily expressed, but was taught, can trigger a similar, natural response when given the next opportunity.

How is empathy measured?

The scientific community may wonder, how is empathy measured? Empathy encompasses multiple behaviors. First you would need to define empathy in a way that is measurable. For instance, empathy is defined as: every time the learner engages in perspective taking, asks questions, shares personal experiences, and provides comfort. While this definition is very broad, you can break it down into smaller components. Take perspective taking as one component. If I have a series of questions on notecards and ask a question like, “A child gets lost in a supermarket and cannot find his/her parents. How do you think this child feels and is thinking?” If the learner responds correctly, and I understand correctly can also be subjective, however, let us say that the answer on the card was vetted and researched, then that would be measured as one correct response. Similarly, you can measure each time a learner provides comfort to a peer who is crying, needs help, or hurt themself.

Conclusion:

While empathy is something that we can all agree is not always second nature, the subject of judgment and biases come to mind. A few reasons why empathy can be blocked is because humans are also taught to judge what is different than what they know. The circles you grew up in and the biases you learned can make it tough to give someone the benefit of the doubt or to understand the pain and discomfort someone may be feeling. We may be concerned about personal gains and comfort, and someone who is different from us can evoke discomfort or confusion. While it is easier to wear your own shoes, can we challenge ourselves to try on another pair of shoes? XOXO

Ellie Afshar 1/10/21 Ellie Afshar 1/10/21

Ways to Give Back During the Holidays

The holidays are here and while it is natural to plan to buy gifts for friends and family, giving back to those in need can be added to your list too. As if giving back was not important before, living in a pandemic world means there are many more people right now who are struggling to make ends meet. I will share ways you can give back that will not break the bank.

Help Deliver Meals/Products:

Our elderly population are at most risk of developing complications from COVID-19. Contact Meals on Wheels America at mealsonwheelsamerica.org to assist with care and distribution of goods that are needed. Additionally, a lot of the homeless population have been displaced and are at high risk of contracting COVID-19. The homeless population struggle to find safe shelter and lack nutritious meals. In California, 4,354,400 people are food insecure. Donate or start a food drive through Move for Hunger at moveforhunger.com. If you would like a more grassroots approach, consider dropping off water bottles, snacks, first aid kits, and blankets to homeless communities in your area.

Donate Blood:

Often we wait to donate blood when there is an emergency need of some sort. The truth is blood donations have decreased tremendously and one way you can give back is by donating your blood to those who need it. Contact the American Red Cross to find out more information at redcrossblood.org The American Red Cross tests all blood, platelets, and plasma donations for COVID-19 antibodies. Those who test positive for COVID-19 antibodies can help current coronavirus patients in need of convalescent blood transfusions.

Write Letters to Essential Workers, Elderly, and Hospital Patients:

The holiday season is a stressful time of year. Pair that with a global health pandemic and it can get pretty messy. Essential workers like your local grocery store checker or a nurse at your local clinic are working day in and day out to make sure their customers/patients needs are met. Those who are fortunate enough to work from home do not quite understand the anxiety that comes with being on the frontlines. Take some time to hand write a “thank you” card or letter and drop it off at the local store or clinic. Additionally, the elderly population are restricted when it comes to visitations and mingling inside nursing homes. Think about writing kind notes to the elderly and mail/drop it off outside a nursing home nearby. Lastly, those who are hospitalized either from COVID-19 or any other medical condition are often isolated, alone, and scared. Consider writing a “get well,” card with well wishes to hospital patients and mail it to a local hospital.

Check in on your Neighbors, Friends, and Family:

This is an easy and free way to give back during the holidays. Maybe you have a sick neighbor or elderly grandparent. Consider baking a dish and dropping it off at your neighbor’s front door. If you cannot see an elderly grandparent, friend, or family member in need, you can FaceTime or call to connect and show that you care. Many people are feeling lonely and confused right now. Sharing a conversation together and letting your friend or family member know that you are there to talk or to share a quick “hello” can make a difference in their day and your day too.

These are just a few ways you can give back this season. While it may be easy to get caught up on your next online purchase for your loved one, remember to give back to those in need too. Enjoy the holiday season. Sending lots of holiday cheer your way.

Ellie Afshar 11/25/20 Ellie Afshar 11/25/20

How to Cultivate Gratitude & Acceptance

It is that time of year again, a time to stop and remember what we are thankful for. A time to share gratitude with others. While this Thanksgiving may not look like ones we have had in the past, can we pause and cultivate a sense of acceptance along with our gratitude? I have found that when I accept the present moment, I am in turn grateful for where I am in life. If gratitude and acceptance are not in your current meditative practice, not to worry - I will share some ways to incorporate these two practices in your daily life.

What is gratitude and how can I cultivate it?

Gratitude is an expression of appreciation for what one has. It is the quality of being thankful towards individuals and the world. When you practice gratitude you are not constantly seeking more or trying to be somewhere else. You accept where you are and continue to work towards your goals without the need to control every aspect of it. When the brain of those who practice gratitude are scanned, lasting changes are shown in the prefrontal cortex - there is an increase in sensitivity to future gratitude experiences. Individuals who practice gratitude share they are more happy, less stressed, and have better overall health. Gratitude while considered a prosocial behavior, is also highly effective when done on your own. Here are ways you can cultivate gratitude in the comfort of your own home:

Designate a journal just to jot down one thing a day you are grateful for. If writing it down is not your thing, set a time each day, perhaps before bed to review and think of one thing that happened or did not happen, but that you accept in that moment that you are grateful for.
During your meditation practice, include gratitude as the main focus or one part of your meditation. Allow the meditation to include gratitude towards those who are neutral to you, dear to you, those who you may have conflict with, strangers, the old, young, people far away, and near. The individual who brings conflict in your life could teach you something or help you resolve an area in you that could be beneficial. Being grateful towards someone who you do not know, like the essential worker who scanned your food at the store is worth sending appreciation to also.
Sending a text, email, or letter to a loved one, friend, or family member is an easy way to share gratitude at any point in your day. Especially these days, an unexpected message from a friend extending gratefulness gives both the receiver and the sender a moment of connection and positivity.

How does acceptance fit into this? How can I cultivate acceptance?

While you could be thinking, acceptance is the complete opposite of gratitude, you are in a sense correct. Acceptance is experiencing events fully as they are without being in defense and no matter how distressing an event may be. Taking acceptance further, there is a intervention called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that is an empirically-based branch of behavior analysis that uses acceptance and mindfulness strategies along with commitment and behavior change to increase flexibility in thinking and outcomes. There are six components to ACT and here are some ways you can understand and better cultivate acceptance in present day using the six processes:

Acceptance: Instead of avoiding outcomes or sensations, acceptance means you are aware of the private event and allow it to occur. The objective is not necessarily to wish the thought away or make it stop, you are accepting the thought and allowing yourself to experience it. A present day example of this could be a thought like, “What if someone around me gets seriously ill and I lose him/her?” In this scenario, you would allow the thought to come up, instead of trying to get rid of it, you accept that it is a possibility and allow yourself to sit with the emotion.
Cognitive Defusion: To see a thought as just that, a thought. When you look at the scenario above, the process of cognitive defusion allows you to understand that your fear of losing someone is just that - a fear. It is not actually occurring, it is in the mind. The mind is something external from you. The thought is something external from you.
Being Present: One of my favorites. This is the non judgmental act of noticing the private event that is happening and then choosing to redirect your attention to the present moment. Tune into your sensations: what do you see, smell, feel, hear, taste? Now is another moment we can embrace.
Self as Context: Self as context means we are not the content of our experience. This is the place where observations are made without form or content. We are not our thoughts, the events that occur, our fears, or feelings. The stories we have created for ourselves are our perspective alone. We are aware of our experiences as an observer without attachment or investment of which experiences occur.
Values: Values not in the sense of accomplishments, but who we want to be and what we want our life to be about. Value brings direction in times when we are in difficult situations. This is an individual process that can be viewed in various domains like your career, spirituality, and family. Values place the emphasis on the choices you make in life based on your needs, not the expectations of others or what you should be doing. Put in another way, what gives your life meaning? At present, our values probably shifted. What we once put emphasis on may look differently. A few months ago, maybe you valued more materialistic attempts at getting ahead in life and wanted to do everything in your power to get there. Now, given our present circumstance, this possibly shifted to finding ways to connect more with family and friends as a value.
Committed Action: What are some concrete goals you can make towards your values? Maybe you would like more spirituality in your life. Committed action would mean you spend 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening to practice mindful meditation. Or maybe you would like to move to a quieter community closer to your loved ones. Committed action would be taking steps to secure your finances and credit. Focus on short-term and long-term behaviors that will move you closer to your values.

So while gratitude and acceptance are on opposite ends, they have a common purpose. Gratitude teaches us to be aware of how far we have come and thank those on our path who helped us along the way, while acceptance brings our awareness to the unpleasant situation we may be in, but teaches us to be compassionate with ourselves through steps like being in the present moment. Acceptance helps us realize that the difficulty is not permanent, and through committed action, we can continue to make our reality not only more bearable, but fulfilling. So this thanksgiving, I ask you to think of one thing you are grateful for and one difficultly that you committedly accept.

Ellie Afshar 11/1/20 Ellie Afshar 11/1/20

Moons & Retrogrades

Is it just me or have you all been feeling an intense shift in energy? There is a lot on people’s minds these days and a big election a couple days away. With that said, astrologically, there are some planetary updates that are playing a significant role in the energetic shift taking place. The first noteworthy update is that there were two full moons last month, making the second full moon on Halloween a “Blue Moon.” The blue moon is named not for its color, but the fact that it is a rare event that occurs once every couple years and a second full moon in one month makes it “blue.” A blue moon is also called the hunter’s moon because it gave enough light for hunters to gather food back in the day. The last time a blue moon took place on Halloween was 75 years ago, making this year especially spooky!

The moon represents our “inner world” or shadow self. This means all your hidden emotions, desires, fears/worries, and dreams are represented by the moon. It is the yin or feminine energy that reflects on the past and helps us to grow from it. We may feel creatively attuned and have the desire to share more sides of ourselves near full moons.

How does a full moon spiritually affect us? When a full moon occurs, the sun’s position is opposite from the moon and is fully magnified from the light of the sun. When this occurs it can create harmony or friction. The potential for either direction is up to you to manifest. During a full moon it is a good time to channel your meditative practice to one of gratitude. Cultivate gratitude for all that you have attained up to now and let go of what no longer holds space in your life. If you can safely gather in a small moon circle that is a powerful collective way to join together to set intentions, listen to each others thoughts, and chant for humanity. Right now, chanting and prayer are so widely needed on an energetic level to bring our collective consciousness together for a peaceful future.

Another energetic aspect that happens pretty regularly are planet retrogrades.

What are retrogrades? Astrologically, all planets have retrograde periods. A retrograde is when a planet moves in an “apparent” backward motion. The planet is not actually moving backwards, but it appears as though it is. It is an illusion in our solar system that shows objects orbit the sun at different speeds and distances from the earth. What comes to mind when I think about this is The Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios. When you are sitting in the simulator ride, the large screen shows a track and moves you through the rollercoaster ride as if you are actually inclining and declining, but it is an optical illusion created from the visual 3-D image and the motion of the seat moving around in all directions. This concept is similar to astrological planet retrogrades and the metaphor may also apply to how you are feeling when retrogrades occur. You may feel like you are moving backwards, reopening old wounds, or overanalyzing, but not to worry, you are still moving forward! During retrogrades you can look to the past, however, use this as a tool to rethink, redo, and reorder aspects of your life for the better.

Are we currently in a Mercury Retrograde? Yes, we are until November 3rd. But, before I go into that, we are also in a Mars Retrograde right now until November 13th. Mars is named after the Roman God of War and is associated with the masculine, passion, anger, and assertion. In retrograde, this explains why you may have felt sluggish the last couple months, unmotivated, or struggled to take action. Ways you can combat this energy is to look at what makes you happy and do more of that. Also, take time to tap into any pent-up anger inside of you and check in to see how you are treating people around you.

Ok, back to the Mercury Retrograde. Mercury Retrograde gets all the attention because it occurs the most - three to four times a year. Mercury rules communication (reading, writing, speaking), technology, travel, contracts, and negotiations. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and in the year 2020 it spends time in the signs Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio (all water elements), making it an emotional, introspective, and confusing time. What does this mean for us? Well, as it goes, during Mercury Retrogrades it is best to hold off on any big commitments like signing contracts, or perhaps scheduling a big speaking event; it is best to wait out the period to avoid miscommunication and errors. What makes the retrograde particularly tricky right now is that it is occurring during an election period. A Mercury Retrograde during an election can cause mailing delays, mishaps, and lost deliveries. Not to mention, chaos over mishandling of information, filling out ballots, getting proper counts, and what some of us may be fearing, the aftermath of the election.

How can you thrive during a Mercury Retrograde? Take time to pause, reset, and relax. Allow yourself time to journal, read, and tap into your intuition with a meditation practice. Be proactive when you know one is coming. Back up your files, read the fine print on documents, revamp old projects, get rid of material belongings you no longer need, prepare for miscommunication to occur, and keep an eye out for temptation to reconnect with people you are better off moving on from.

Remember, as we are days away from the election, vote early, read the print carefully on your ballot, keep away from the drama, and know the next Mercury Retrograde is around the corner.

Ellie Afshar 10/18/20 Ellie Afshar 10/18/20

Breast Cancer Awareness - Know your risk

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. About 1 in 8 women develop breast cancer in the United States. While the likelihood of developing breast cancer is greater over the age of 45 and doubles if you have a first degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has it, knowing your risk is significant.

Currently, statistics show that people are less likely to get health screenings and are putting if off because of fear that they may contract COVID-19. Breast cancer screenings have been down by 63% during the pandemic. Imaging and cancer screenings are routinely advised and waiting can lead to invasive treatments. When breast cancer is detected early, in the localized stage, the 5-year relative survival rate is 99%. This means, regular screenings and early intervention are very essential for survival.

According to the CDC, the following are risk factors for breast cancer:

Getting older - over the age of 45 years
Genetic mutations - inherit changes to certain genes like BRCA1 and BRCA2
Reproductive history - early start of menstrual periods (before age 12) and late menopause (after age 55)
Having dense breasts - this makes it hard to see tumors on a mammogram
Personal history of breast cancer or certain non-cancerous breast diseases - if you have had breast cancer once, you are more likely to develop it a second time
Family history of breast or ovarian cancer - having a first degree relative either female or male with breast cancer or multiple family members on father or mother’s side
Previous radiation treatment - radiation treatment on the chest or breasts before age 30 increases your chances
Women who have taken the drug diethylstilbestrol (DES) - given to some women between 1940 and 1971 to prevent miscarriage

What you can do to reduce your risk:

Perform monthly breast self-exams
Receive regular screenings
Exercise often - at least 150 minutes a week
Keep a healthy weight
Speak to your doctor about any hormones you are on like birth control
Breastfeed your children
Reduce fat intake and increase fruits, vegetables, and fiber
Limit alcohol consumption and smoking

Now that you know the risks, it’s important to detect breast cancer early. The types of screenings are:

Mammogram - this is an X-ray of the breast and the best way to detect breast cancer early
Ultrasound - a probe is placed on the skin of your breast and uses sound waves to create images of the breast tissue
Breast MRI - uses radio waves and a powerful magnet linked to a computer that creates detailed pictures of you breast
Clinical breast exam - physical exam of the breast performed by a trained healthcare professional
Breast self-exam - this can be done on yourself at home monthly. Look for breast lumps, changes in size or shape, pain, fluid from nipple and irregular tissue thickening. Speak to your doctor and schedule an appointment if you notice any changes.

Knowing your risk and receiving regular screenings are crucial for breast health. It is important to note that there are other reasons for sudden breast density or irregular thickness of breast tissue. You could have what is called a Fibroadenoma which is commonly seen in women between the age of 15-35 years. This is a noncancerous breast tumor which may require surgery to remove if it is large, complex, or juvenile. It is also worth being aware that men too can develop breast cancer. Breast cancer in men is usually detected as a hard lump underneath the nipple and areola. Risk factors include, radiation exposure, high levels of estrogen, and family history of breast cancer related to the BRCA2 gene.

Times are definitely different these days and while health screenings and self-exams may be the last thing on your mind, remember, early detection is key. Make an appointment, go to your appointment when you are feeling healthy, wear your mask and face shield, follow all clinic precautions while there, and wash your hands. Oh and remind your family and friends to get checked too!

Ellie Afshar 10/9/20 Ellie Afshar 10/9/20

Fall Routine

Fall weather kicked in a couple days ago. Fall is a beautiful time of year. The leaves are changing to orange, red, and yellow hues, the wind kicks up, and the air feels brisk and fresh. The energy shifts from one of a fiery passion to a subtle feeling of comfort. Cozying up with a warm cup of tea and sweater away from the traffic and buzz of the world is welcomed. With each seasonal transition, we too can modify ourselves to compliment our environment. Here are some diet and routine recommendations for the Fall season.

Diet:

It’s time to move away from the light, cool foods of the summer and start adopting more heavy, warm and mushy/soft oily foods
The three tastes to favor in this season are sweet, sour and salty
Breakfast options to favor this season include: oatmeal, rice porridge with warming spices like cardamom, stewed apples or pears with cinnamon, eggs cooked with ghee
Lunch and dinner options to favor this season include: steamed vegetables – now is the time to cook root vegetables, soups, stews, hearty grains, and if you’re a meat eater, it is the best time to eat meat (best grass fed beef is available in the fall)
Overall, you’ll want to reduce your consumption of raw vegetables, cold and frozen foods, bitter, astringent, and pungent tastes. It’s also not the best time to practice fasting, or intermittent fasting this season, as your body needs the most nourishment this time of year
Now is a good time to consume dairy products and nuts. Dairy choices to favor are: warm milk, cheese, yogurt, ghee, butter, cream
Favor room temperature, warm or hot drinks. Avoid iced and chilled beverages as it dampens your digestive fire

Consume as much oil in your diet as you can. Great oils to include now are: sesame, almond, and olive
Lastly, open up your spice rack and cook with: basil, black pepper, cinnamon, clove, cumin, garlic, ginger, paprika, rosemary, and turmeric

Routine:

It’s a great time to establish a consistent routine which means trying to do the same things daily: waking up at the same time, eating meals at the same time, exercising at the same time, and sleeping at the same time. The excitement of Vata (movement) can make it harder to keep a routine as there’s much more hustle and bustle, so it’s very important to create a consistent schedule
In the morning if you can wake up before 6am that is ideal, however this season it’s ok to sleep in by that extra half hour. Start your day with simple stretching and exercises and 10-20 minutes of quiet meditation. This will set a calm tone for the rest of your day
Engage in pranayama or breathing exercises – alternate nostril breathing is wonderful for calming the nerves and any anxiety that is present
Before getting in the shower, give yourself a warm oil massage with sesame oil or almond oil – this is called Abhyanaga or oil massage. Self-massage keeps you young - it improves your circulation, stamina, strengthens your body tissues, increases moisture for softer skin, and aides in better sleep
Make sure to eat your breakfast – favor the warm breakfasts in the morning, soups for lunch, and nourishing seasoned stews and grains for dinner
Aim to be in bed by 10PM and get the full eight hours of sleep – this time of night is governed by Kapha (stability) – which means it’s a naturally soothing and relaxing time of day and best for quality sleep